Saturday, January 17, 2009

63. The un-said

What's left unsaid stays in the mind and haunts us from time to time. And as more and more things are left unsaid, the clutter builds up, increasing the levels of mental unrest.

This gyaan from a movie called 'Little Manhattan', a really cute little story about a 10-year old new yorker's first love.

Come to think of it, there is always a lot that's left unsaid. Unless everything goes right, we do tend to not say the intended, as it is bound to sound out of place. Sometimes, the unsaid gets said, under unforseen circumstances. Lets look at some ways in which the unsaid somehow gets said (atleast in the movies).

Alcohol
The reason why alcohol probably is a major success world-over, is coz it helps you to get over your inhibitions and say the unsaid. Most daring of confessions happen after a few large pegs of whisky sink in.

Time
Time kills, Time heals, Time keeps ticking away. Lack of time puts one in a position to reveal or say something that could have waited for a wee bit longer otherwise. Time is a tricky thing, people make promises without taking into account, it's unpredictable nature. When the girl is gonna be gone for a while, the guy gets very limited time, so he feels that he needs to change to the 'fast-forward' mode so as to take the relationship to the next stage.

Family
The most influential social group, these people can at times also be the ones who push you to your limits, which makes you say things which you'd always wanted to but never intended to.

Messengers/Letters
What cant be said is sometimes written or typed. Letters are a much safer option, since its one-sided. Saying the unsaid on the messengers can create quite a weird situation. Suppose the unsaid is said, then there'll be some discussion on the topic. One person may be more eager than the other for an answer, building up anxiety and frustration. Typing speeds are never good when complicated issues are handled. So the sender takes his/her own sweet time thinking of the right words while the reciever waits at the other end staring at the 'sender123 is typing...' message on top of the sender's chat window. What messes up the situation further is if one of the two get disconnected due to a network failure or a power failure, which in our country is a daily occurence.

Ok, so much for the reasons. Why do we have things left unsaid ? The right place and the right time always elude the right dialogue. We later ponder over the timing and the content of the dialogue that had to be delivered. We evaluate the merit of not having said a thing with the consequences if we had said it. Psychologists make a living out of hearing the unsaid. What we cant tell to the rest of the world, we tell to our shrink.  The shrink is a 'you' outside yourself. They wont tell you what's right or wrong, rather, they'll help you weigh your options and take better decisions. If the mind is stable enough, one can assume the shrink's role oneself, cant one ?

Ok, this one's gone haywire, lets just leave the rest of the clutter in my mind for the time being. Some things have to be unsaid right :)

This article is put up on  - www.themag.in

2 comments:

Satish said...

Right...some things HAVE to be unsaid :)
Nice way of putting it!!

Valluvanai Pinpatruvon!!! said...

Should you not have added the notice board part under "alcohol" :P
You could also add the "do" part :)