Disclaimer : This post is not intended to be funny. Its intended to bring the 'awkward' feeling/emotion out, and may be some chuckles in passing.
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Moment 2 : All that glitters is not 'Gold'
Was in Dubai doing my summers. Got a call from mom(at home) asking me to buy some gold jewelry. This was the first time that mom had asked me to buy something so huge(price-wise). Till date, mom had only sent me out to make low-value purchases, such as buying coconuts or milk from Latha aunty's store or Bournvita from the Departmental store or Kaju barfis from Halwa-ram Mithai bhandar at most. I was thrilled and also tense. I had to buy something big and the choice was in my hands. So I went the jewelry store, painfully went through all the chains and ear-ring models that they had to offer(thinking long and hard as to what kind of stuff would mom want to sport) and I made my choice. I picked up two chains, both really pretty. Was really confident that mom would like them and laud my taste for jewelry and my choice-making/decision-taking abilities. Summers got over, I went home. Bro was happy with the stuff I got for him. Went over to mom and handed over the chains. I was expecting the "Oh wow. They suit and fit me perfectly. Thank you son :)" kind of a reaction. Mom, on the other hand said "Nice chains. These are for your wife." This one-liner turned an all-smiles environment into a rather weird one. I laughed, looked puzzled, took deep breaths, blinked furiously, sneezed, coughed, but could not manage to speak. It was way too awkward. Here I was, buying something for someone whom I dint know, whom I may never know, who may be allergic to gold(ok, this is rare), or there's also a chance that I may never want any 'someone' too(for life). I wonder how someone else would have gotten outta such a fix-ey situation.
You get to know that a school's classmate of yours has been selected to join a 'better known institute of management in northern India'. You feel real happy that someone from your old school's class has done real well. With no one else around to share the good news with, you goto dad with the news.
You : Dad, Serafina cracked the feline test and got through to the 'Better known Institute of Management in Northern India' (BIMNI).
Dad : Whose she ? Is she the one from your school ? The class prefect ?
You : Yea, bingo. You've got a great memory.
Dad : If I remember well, you used to get better grades than her in school rite ?
You : Yea, most of the time.(I was already sensing trouble, with the way this conversation was shaping up)
Dad : Then how is it that she has gotten into BIMNI while you're learning management from the 'Lesser known Institute of Management in the Crime-capital of India' ?
You : Awkward pause. Awkward-er smile. Feel stupid. Regret opening your mouth. Get Irritated. Angry.......Shout @$$#0!e...@$$#0!e in your head.
The transition from being happy to feeling stupid to getting angry is so swift, it feels like you're sliding down a steep spiral until you fall with a loud thud. And that's when you reach Ground-Zero(GZ...another acronym for the 'crime-capital' where I'm living right now).
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Moment 1 : An abandoned rescue
The first week a.k.a the 'Orientation week' in my college is when the PDP(Personality Destruction Program) sessions are conducted all through the night right until early in the morning. I have always been totally against this whole concept of making 23/24 year-olds sit on the grass for hours, shout some stupid slogans, run around the ground, propose to ugly senior girls and similar nonsense, and all this after the freshers have been bombarded with academic sessions from 8 in the morning till 12 in the night. So I donned the role of the rescuer, the messiah, the one who sends the troubled ones back to their hostel rooms for some well-deserved sleep. If I found a junior roaming around aimlessly, unable to finish a task given to him (invariably, the task would be to find some pretty girls and send them over to the senior bunch), I'd ask him whether he wanted to sleep and if yes, would rescue him from the charade. One fine night, during the session, I found a guy just standing, looking clueless and dumbstruck. Being the messiah that I am, I went to him and asked him
Me : So....What's the task that these numbskulls have given you ? Do you have to make love with a pole or wat ?
That guy : (pats me on my shoulder and whispers in my ear) I'm a senior dude.
And then he left. Boy, that was embarrassing. Awkward and embarrassing. I dint know where to go and hide my face that instant.
And then he left. Boy, that was embarrassing. Awkward and embarrassing. I dint know where to go and hide my face that instant.
Moment 2 : All that glitters is not 'Gold'
Was in Dubai doing my summers. Got a call from mom(at home) asking me to buy some gold jewelry. This was the first time that mom had asked me to buy something so huge(price-wise). Till date, mom had only sent me out to make low-value purchases, such as buying coconuts or milk from Latha aunty's store or Bournvita from the Departmental store or Kaju barfis from Halwa-ram Mithai bhandar at most. I was thrilled and also tense. I had to buy something big and the choice was in my hands. So I went the jewelry store, painfully went through all the chains and ear-ring models that they had to offer(thinking long and hard as to what kind of stuff would mom want to sport) and I made my choice. I picked up two chains, both really pretty. Was really confident that mom would like them and laud my taste for jewelry and my choice-making/decision-taking abilities. Summers got over, I went home. Bro was happy with the stuff I got for him. Went over to mom and handed over the chains. I was expecting the "Oh wow. They suit and fit me perfectly. Thank you son :)" kind of a reaction. Mom, on the other hand said "Nice chains. These are for your wife." This one-liner turned an all-smiles environment into a rather weird one. I laughed, looked puzzled, took deep breaths, blinked furiously, sneezed, coughed, but could not manage to speak. It was way too awkward. Here I was, buying something for someone whom I dint know, whom I may never know, who may be allergic to gold(ok, this is rare), or there's also a chance that I may never want any 'someone' too(for life). I wonder how someone else would have gotten outta such a fix-ey situation.
Moment 3 : The bill
Mom : Go get some coconuts from Latha aunty's store.
Mom : Go get some coconuts from Latha aunty's store.
Me : Am outta cash mom. Gimme some money.
(The washerman/dhobi comes to collect clothes, each of us give him our dirty linen...and he's busy counting the clothes)
Mom : I gave you 2k just yesterday, where did you blow that money off ?
Me : umm....I bought some shares with it. Investment you see. I want my money to work for me.
(The dhobi interrupts)
Dhobi : Sir, this is yours(hands me a piece of paper)...It was there in your pant pocket.
Mom (takes the slip from me) : Hmm...a bill of 2K...'Langoors'....apparel store...(I grab the bill back from her)
Me : errm, I just got myself a few undergarments.
Mom : For 2k ?
Me : And 2 over-garments too....and the discussion fizzled out
It was two days later that mom found out that 'Langoors' was a female shoppe, when she asked a colleague about the same. It was very awkward. I knew that she knew, but she dint know that I knew that she knew about 'Langoors'. I had expected a flurry of questions but nothing of that sort happened. Some days later, I went out to mom with the begging bowl again asking for money. She gave me some cash, and with a devious smile said "Buy something for yourself this time!". My theft was caught (damn the dhobi, he could've washed the pant with the bill in it, for all I care) and I felt real tongue-tied even standing there trying to sheepishly smile and think of an excuse, which I eventually couldn't :s
Moment 4 : The girl classmate
Moment 4 : The girl classmate
You get to know that a school's classmate of yours has been selected to join a 'better known institute of management in northern India'. You feel real happy that someone from your old school's class has done real well. With no one else around to share the good news with, you goto dad with the news.
You : Dad, Serafina cracked the feline test and got through to the 'Better known Institute of Management in Northern India' (BIMNI).
Dad : Whose she ? Is she the one from your school ? The class prefect ?
You : Yea, bingo. You've got a great memory.
Dad : If I remember well, you used to get better grades than her in school rite ?
You : Yea, most of the time.(I was already sensing trouble, with the way this conversation was shaping up)
Dad : Then how is it that she has gotten into BIMNI while you're learning management from the 'Lesser known Institute of Management in the Crime-capital of India' ?
You : Awkward pause. Awkward-er smile. Feel stupid. Regret opening your mouth. Get Irritated. Angry.......Shout @$$#0!e...@$$#0!e in your head.
The transition from being happy to feeling stupid to getting angry is so swift, it feels like you're sliding down a steep spiral until you fall with a loud thud. And that's when you reach Ground-Zero(GZ...another acronym for the 'crime-capital' where I'm living right now).
