At the gymnasium

Up until the last generation, the 'gym' (as it is popularly called) was not a place for all and sundry(at least in our country). The mango man did not find it necessary and important to have a regular workout at the gym. (Primarily because there was enough physical labor in his daily routine and also because he could not afford to join one) As for the mango woman, a visit to the gym was never an option to exercise as it was a bastion of masculinity. The gym used to be the hub of sportsmen, wrestlers and men from the armed forces.

Well, things have changed for the better since the 1991 liberalization. (I'm an MBA guy - will link everything to 1991 - its a disorder - just kidding - no I'm serious) The increase in the standard of living coupled with the new urban sedentary lifestyle has turned 'hitting the gym' into an urban necessity. Gen Y and Gen Next are much more open to the idea of hitting the gym than their predecessors - the Gen X and the Baby Boomers. Most of them hit the gym in an attempt to stay fit while some have very interesting ulterior motives - like hitting on that cute girl who comes to the gym every alternate Wednesday.

The gymnasium has turned into a vibrant microcosm - with a wide variety of people and the wider variety of situations that they create, all in an effort to live a better life (or so they think). Here are a few of the colorful kind of people you may come across when you 'hit' the gym.

Terminator alias Mr. Know-it-all

Have you seen Arnold in Terminator-2 ? For those of you who haven't, Arnold was the Terminator sent from the future with the sole aim to protect a certain John Connor. He knew what he had to do, was always in control, with in-built one-liners and 'punch' dialogues. Well, Mr. Know-it-all belongs to that breed of Terminators. From the moment he barges into the gym (akin to the way Arnold barges into the police headquarters in the movie), he's a man on a mission with single-minded devotion. Any man/machine/rodent in his way to fitness will be 'terminated'. He wears knee pads that match his water-bottle and his ear phones. His optimized routine cannot be questioned even by the gym instructor. Everyone envies his routine and his physique. He's a mystery.

Iron Man

He's got the biggest muscles in the gym. He gets in. He's always warmed-up. He pumps iron. He stares at his muscles once every 2 minutes. His muscles are so huge that they are 4-D. He helps people out with their weight-training. He tells stories of how he makes his orange juice daily - by placing an orange on his upper arm and squeezing it with his arm-muscles. He also talks about his glory-days when he was a second runner-up in the Ghatkesar mandal body building championship.

Teacher's pet 

You'll always find this one guy/girl who is the teacher's pet - in this case, the gym instructor's pet. This pet will spend most of its gym time in and around the instructor. It's a win-win situation for both parties actually. The instructor is happy as he has someone to share his thoughts with(and get his ego massaged whenever required), while the pet is also happy because the instructor will not force it into high-strain exercises and uncompromising positions during the workout. Where else can such a symbiosis be witnessed.

The girlfriend and her boy-best-friend (Kuch Kuch Hota Hai)

Here's a girlfriend-boyfriend pair who have decided to get fit together. They have noble intentions. But when they enrol, chaos ensues. The girl is not very happy when her guy is not able to lift a 5 pound dumb-bell. The guy is forever worried about his girl getting all the undue attention from the gym instructor. Their see-sawing love story amidst the swivelling gym machines can be a turned into a full-blown bollywood movie. Anurag Kashyap, are you listening ?

The TV watcher (Homer Simpson)

I know its rare but there are a few folks who hit the gym just to watch TV. These are people who are never handed the remote control at their homes. They hit the gym, step on the treadmill, adjust it to a speed of 3 kmph(slow walking) and take control of the TV in front. They come with the tagline in their eyes - 'Anyone who tries to change the channel will have to deal with my mother-in-law'.

The struggler (Uday Chopra)

Here is someone who struggles to shed weight, struggles to run on the treadmill, struggles with his/her diet, struggles while lifting the 10 pound dumbbell. For this person, gym life is full of struggles. Even the gym instructor sympathizes with the struggler. The struggler gets everyone's sympathy but rarely gets anyone's help - unlike the damsel in distress.

Damsel in distress (Cinderella)

She joins the gym. She needs the attention. She knows she's pretty. She knows that she doesn't know anything about a workout. She does however know that she will get help whenever she asks for it. So she wails and pleads for help as she wanders and tip-toes through the monstrous machines and the monstrous men pumping iron - like the damsel in distress waiting for a valorous prince to come to her rescue. Her workout routine is typically punctuated with the cries of 'Ouch', 'Ouieee', 'Oh no' and the 'Can someone show me the stop button on this treadmill?'

Software engineer Brahmi (from the movie Pokiri)

How could this post be complete without the software engineer stereotype. Software engineers are everywhere. You can not ignore them. Some may be hiding even in your closet as I speak. Our software engineer Brahmi is the typical spectacled balding pot-bellied middle-age Iphone-5 owner who has decided to join the gym as an after-thought more than anything else. He's well known for taking onsite/client calls while running on the treadmill. He's also well known for buying the most outrageous set of gym wear - fluorescent-green tracks and sunflower-yellow running shoes. He also believes that his extravagant spending on gadgets and gym wear may get him some attention from the damsel in distress. Kudos to his optimism.

Shall try and capture a few more stereotypes as they come to mind. Until then, ciao.