When all is it appropriate to gate-crash at a party or a gathering ? On the same lines, when all is it ok to not give a gift to the people whose party you've come to ? Any purist would say 'never'. But we aren't purists, are we ? We live in the real and messy world where all the boundaries are blurred. So we chalk out our own interpretations for such situations and spread them to one and all like its the gospel truth.
For instance, I'd recently been to a friend's elder brother's marriage. My friend had invited me and a couple of other school friends to the gathering. Now while we were driving to the party, I was a bit uncomfy coz we were going there empty-handed. Till a few years back, when I was a minor(in every sense of the word), I wasn't expected to bring a gift to the party. That was mom and dad's headache. I just had to be there in my best outfit and gorge on all the delicacies and ice-creams. But now, things are different. In 2 yrs, am gonna hit a quarter century (and most probably, have a quarter-life crisis too). So, its expected of me to behave as a responsible 'major' social animal and buying a gift for the bride and groom is part and parcel of this behavioral pattern.
But the rest of my gang were adamant that we need not buy a gift. They say that we need to buy a gift if it is our friend's wedding, but if its his brother's or sister's wedding, we needn't buy anything. They say that the friend should not bother about gifts & presents from us and would be happy just coz we have graced the gathering with our presence :O.....I don't seem to get the reasoning behind this social norm. I mean, I'm being invited, offered free food (and drinks) and in return, I'm expected to wish the bride and groom accompanied with a material offering. Its that simple. Whether its my friend or his brother or a complete stranger. As long as I am invited and I am present at the function, I am supposed to do the needful.
This is just one incident. It becomes worse when one is tagged along to a birthday party or a farewell or a freshers or a completely unrelated party. The place is new, no one knows you, you get a lot of "who the fuck is he ?" stares & you seem to be the only one with no gift in your hand.
A booze party is all the more tricky. Everyone is there for the liquor. And you need to be in a group to get a table to sit and drink. If you're alone, you won't enjoy the liquor and you'll get the stares from the bartender & waiters. Even a guy who's had 15 vodka shots will make out that you're a gate-crasher.
The trade-off is simple. Its the level of uncomfy-ness versus the quality of food and drink that's gonna be available. If the uncomfy-ness is on the lower side, take the risk and go gate crash, no matter how remotely you know the person whose party it is. If its a bit high, then weight the pros and cons and take the plunge :)
For instance, I'd recently been to a friend's elder brother's marriage. My friend had invited me and a couple of other school friends to the gathering. Now while we were driving to the party, I was a bit uncomfy coz we were going there empty-handed. Till a few years back, when I was a minor(in every sense of the word), I wasn't expected to bring a gift to the party. That was mom and dad's headache. I just had to be there in my best outfit and gorge on all the delicacies and ice-creams. But now, things are different. In 2 yrs, am gonna hit a quarter century (and most probably, have a quarter-life crisis too). So, its expected of me to behave as a responsible 'major' social animal and buying a gift for the bride and groom is part and parcel of this behavioral pattern.
But the rest of my gang were adamant that we need not buy a gift. They say that we need to buy a gift if it is our friend's wedding, but if its his brother's or sister's wedding, we needn't buy anything. They say that the friend should not bother about gifts & presents from us and would be happy just coz we have graced the gathering with our presence :O.....I don't seem to get the reasoning behind this social norm. I mean, I'm being invited, offered free food (and drinks) and in return, I'm expected to wish the bride and groom accompanied with a material offering. Its that simple. Whether its my friend or his brother or a complete stranger. As long as I am invited and I am present at the function, I am supposed to do the needful.
This is just one incident. It becomes worse when one is tagged along to a birthday party or a farewell or a freshers or a completely unrelated party. The place is new, no one knows you, you get a lot of "who the fuck is he ?" stares & you seem to be the only one with no gift in your hand.
A booze party is all the more tricky. Everyone is there for the liquor. And you need to be in a group to get a table to sit and drink. If you're alone, you won't enjoy the liquor and you'll get the stares from the bartender & waiters. Even a guy who's had 15 vodka shots will make out that you're a gate-crasher.
The trade-off is simple. Its the level of uncomfy-ness versus the quality of food and drink that's gonna be available. If the uncomfy-ness is on the lower side, take the risk and go gate crash, no matter how remotely you know the person whose party it is. If its a bit high, then weight the pros and cons and take the plunge :)
1 comment:
no doubt...these days u got loads of free time :P :D
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