33. 'Well-left'

The minute I read the title, what comes to my mind first is the classic “well-left” that Rahul Dravid showcases when he faces a ball that pitches outside off-stump and swings away. Kya technique hai baap; the way he leaves the ball, enviable to say the least. Guess this is’nt a good time to remind anyone about Indian cricket, with the huge world cup debacle (where the Pepsi Ad slogan “Hoo haa India!!!” became “Ghar jaa India!!!” even before most of the Indian supporters could reach the Carribean :D).

Losing to B’desh ! How can you?? These bloody cricketers are swimming in money, advertising for every new shampoo, hair oil, battery, biscuit, chocolate, bust-cream and Vibrator in town. And the media is no big help, keeping our cricketers at such a high pedestal ! What made me go nuts was a comment from Navjot Sidhu just before the “Ind vs Sri Lanka” match. He went on air (may be on NDTV, am not sure) saying “An optimist is one who thinks that bullshit is fertilizer”. Lets dissect this comment literally first. He equates the current Indian position to bullshit [ roflol =)) , I personally had a huge laugh, coz I’m sort-of anti-India] and then asks them to use it as a fertilizer. Yes, these fellas should be sent to rural internships like we were sent to (back in first year); and be made to plough lands and spread dung all over the fields(their faces too, if possible) with their bare hands. Ok, even if we do take the figurative meaning of the comment which asks the Indian team to be positive, that they will win over Sri Lanka; how in the hell can that happen. You cant lose to a bunch of Horlicks drinking school kids and club players in one match; and expect yourself to be supremely confident of winning over a side with pro’ly one of the best bowling attacks of this World Cup; and that too in the same week (within a span of 5 days)!!!

Anyways, this isn’t the main intent behind this post. Just got carried away coz of the unbelievable un-understandable cricket mania/hysteria which just doesn’t seem to die in this country, despite the repeated failures. Can safely say that our Indian team is consistently inconsistent (God I love saying this whenever India loses; and all at home can do nothing but give me an icy stare). It’s high-time we ppl “well left”-ed this sport for some other one, or for some other goddamn activity. I’d suggest a good doze of Basketball. Man! It’s one exhilarating sport, awesssomely fast paced and one where the team coach actually does matter (is pivotal in fact!). Soccer comes next on my suggestion list. Anything’s ok, but for the sake of God/Christ/Buddha/Mahavira/Allah , just do something to divert your attention and money from Cricket. Pull these assholes down to earth, from the seventh heavens where they’re happily nestling and displaying their endorsed shampoos, kesh-kala hair creams and blah…

A point should come where the cricketers realize, that either they’ll have to “well-left” their ad campaigns and play gr8 cricket, or the faithful Indian supporter will just “well-left” watching Indian cricket ( in such a way that even Dravid will admire the “well-left” ) . Yea, they can do as many revenue generating antics as they want, as long as they dont forget that it is playing classy cricket that has gotten them to this stage, and that they should continue to do so !

“Desamuduru”, an exceedingly irritating gult movie seems to have benefited greatly by the Indian debacle at the WC. Apparently, it’s hit the second all-time high collections at the B.O :P. This is just the beginning. We must, MUST ignore the cricketers until they perform to our expectations. The ignorance and rejection should be such that there should come a time when ppl like Dhoni and Agarkar start running behind children pleading them to take their autographs and the children have a gala time not giving their autograph books to these fellas. Kinda surprising that none of the senior fellows announced their retirements, taking the cue from Inzamam who totally took the blame of Pak’s bad performance on himself and raised his bat declaring that he’s “well-left” international cricket.

Well, it seems that I’ve successfully managed to complete a post without even mentioning the central idea /theme till now, guess I’ve “well-left”-ed it, will write on it soon :D “Well-Left – 2” will be right around the corner, but do post ur comments on this one, puhleeez.