I bring to you the third part of the 'Dial M for Marriage' continuum.
Part 1 - Dial M for Marriage
Part 2 - Dial M for Marriage 2 - Direct Attack
In the previous post (Dial M for Marriage 2), I made a brief mention of how peer pressure can play havoc with our minds. This post is an attempt to capture the craziness arising out of all the ways in which a friend can confuse your perceptions about arranged marriage.
The good friend
This guy has it all and has done it all. And now he's getting married. Now when a facebook kinda friend gets married,you do not fret or break a sweat. But when a real-world friend, whom with you have shared some quality time in the past announces his marriage, that does kind of bring a million questions in your head.
Is it time already ?
Do I want to 'settle' ? (oh that term 'settle' sounds so early-man-ish...hunters and settlers...my ass!)
Oh wait, I don't know what I want. Or do I ?
Questions galore, no one around to give sane enough answers to them.
The dork friend
You made fun of this guy all through high school. He dint do too well at his job either. And then suddenly, the guy has a trophy wife he shows off at every opportune occasion.
You start screaming(mentally) - What's he got that I aint got! (fading away tune) - akin to the VIP brief advertisement of the 90s.
The unlucky friend
This guy has it all. Great education, greater job, greatest pay. Humble demeanor, brilliant credentials. But when it comes to searching for a bride, he's been luck-less. Makes you wonder if the gods up there are playing a wicked joke to have some fun at his expense. What you also realize is that this is not a game where credentials necessarily work. Its a game of demand and supply where the better networked people get ahead of the better qualified(if 'getting married' is equivalent to 'getting ahead' ie).
The douche friend
This guy was your friend a long time ago. You don't even remember why you were friends in the first place. You do know that he's a total douchebag now. What's even worse. He's married his high-school sweetheart. Not that its a gr8 choice made, for either of the two, but still, you (mentally) crib - Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di?
The girl who's a friend (yes, a girl can be a friend, not the girlfriend necessarily)
This friend is totally bindaas about the M issue. She doesn't give two hoots about it. She says that she'll find a guy when the time is right. She's positive that it'll all work out. Although the arranged marriage spouse selection process gives women more options than men, its still a risky predicament to play with that equation by waiting it out. You wonder as to how she can be so positive about finding Mr.Right from among this huge pool of un-marry-able prospects(read: suspects) out there in the market.
The sane friend
Now here is the guy who has always echoed your thoughts about this M issue for a long time. You've always been in agreement with his views on how it has become necessary to get married and the social obligation it has been turned into.
And boom! He tells you that he is gonna take the plunge. Pulls the rug from under your feet. You take some time to come to your senses before you start humming - Munni Badnaam hui, darling tere liye...(well, you're so distraught that you just hum any tune that comes to mind)
The hyper friend
Now we all have this one friend who is obsessed with the idea of marriage and its the only topic that's on his mind at all times (ever since puberty). For the sake of anonymity, lets call our protagonist 'Simply'(a la 'Soapy' from the short-story 'The Cop and the Anthem').
The thing about Simply is that he over-thinks about the M word. He over-thinks so much that he puts over-thinking to shame. Below are some of his thoughts.
If you don't get married now, you will not get married until you are 33-34 years.
That girl rejected me. She must be having an affair with someone for sure.
I have rejected so many girls even before they got a chance to reject me.
I liked that girl but because my mother did not like her, I rejected her.
Generally, people marry when they are 26 years old...I mean in India...I mean in Hyderabad...I mean in our caste...I mean in my gender...Oh I don't know what I mean.
When a good friend recently announced that he was going to get married in December, Simply simply lost it. He's gone been on over-drive ever since. He wants to go one-up on his friend by marrying in November itself(if possible, in October itself)
Well, that sums up this part. Shall come up with another one pretty soon. Until then, please comment on this one :)
Part 1 - Dial M for Marriage
Part 2 - Dial M for Marriage 2 - Direct Attack
In the previous post (Dial M for Marriage 2), I made a brief mention of how peer pressure can play havoc with our minds. This post is an attempt to capture the craziness arising out of all the ways in which a friend can confuse your perceptions about arranged marriage.
The good friend
This guy has it all and has done it all. And now he's getting married. Now when a facebook kinda friend gets married,you do not fret or break a sweat. But when a real-world friend, whom with you have shared some quality time in the past announces his marriage, that does kind of bring a million questions in your head.
Is it time already ?
Do I want to 'settle' ? (oh that term 'settle' sounds so early-man-ish...hunters and settlers...my ass!)
Oh wait, I don't know what I want. Or do I ?
Questions galore, no one around to give sane enough answers to them.
The dork friend
You made fun of this guy all through high school. He dint do too well at his job either. And then suddenly, the guy has a trophy wife he shows off at every opportune occasion.
You start screaming(mentally) - What's he got that I aint got! (fading away tune) - akin to the VIP brief advertisement of the 90s.
The unlucky friend
This guy has it all. Great education, greater job, greatest pay. Humble demeanor, brilliant credentials. But when it comes to searching for a bride, he's been luck-less. Makes you wonder if the gods up there are playing a wicked joke to have some fun at his expense. What you also realize is that this is not a game where credentials necessarily work. Its a game of demand and supply where the better networked people get ahead of the better qualified(if 'getting married' is equivalent to 'getting ahead' ie).
The douche friend
This guy was your friend a long time ago. You don't even remember why you were friends in the first place. You do know that he's a total douchebag now. What's even worse. He's married his high-school sweetheart. Not that its a gr8 choice made, for either of the two, but still, you (mentally) crib - Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di?
The girl who's a friend (yes, a girl can be a friend, not the girlfriend necessarily)
This friend is totally bindaas about the M issue. She doesn't give two hoots about it. She says that she'll find a guy when the time is right. She's positive that it'll all work out. Although the arranged marriage spouse selection process gives women more options than men, its still a risky predicament to play with that equation by waiting it out. You wonder as to how she can be so positive about finding Mr.Right from among this huge pool of un-marry-able prospects(read: suspects) out there in the market.
The sane friend
Now here is the guy who has always echoed your thoughts about this M issue for a long time. You've always been in agreement with his views on how it has become necessary to get married and the social obligation it has been turned into.
And boom! He tells you that he is gonna take the plunge. Pulls the rug from under your feet. You take some time to come to your senses before you start humming - Munni Badnaam hui, darling tere liye...(well, you're so distraught that you just hum any tune that comes to mind)
The hyper friend
Now we all have this one friend who is obsessed with the idea of marriage and its the only topic that's on his mind at all times (ever since puberty). For the sake of anonymity, lets call our protagonist 'Simply'(a la 'Soapy' from the short-story 'The Cop and the Anthem').
The thing about Simply is that he over-thinks about the M word. He over-thinks so much that he puts over-thinking to shame. Below are some of his thoughts.
If you don't get married now, you will not get married until you are 33-34 years.
That girl rejected me. She must be having an affair with someone for sure.
I have rejected so many girls even before they got a chance to reject me.
I liked that girl but because my mother did not like her, I rejected her.
Generally, people marry when they are 26 years old...I mean in India...I mean in Hyderabad...I mean in our caste...I mean in my gender...Oh I don't know what I mean.
When a good friend recently announced that he was going to get married in December, Simply simply lost it. He's gone been on over-drive ever since. He wants to go one-up on his friend by marrying in November itself(if possible, in October itself)
Well, that sums up this part. Shall come up with another one pretty soon. Until then, please comment on this one :)
